Are You Flexible Enough To Get What You Want?


Are you flexible enough to get what you want?

Are you cool with leaving the way things feel normal for a way things feel exceptional?

Bending and stretching —It’s the pulse of energy that allows rigid molds to break and cracks life open to the ideas, directions and coincidences that make new paradigms real.

It’s incredibly hard to make some life changes because it’s too easy to fill the container we already have.  We’re so loaded with ideas of what should happen, we are anticipating the one outcome that is the RIGHT one, we have notions of what is acceptable and how things should go. And we actually get stressed, often, when things aren’t really going wrong but seem to be going DIFFERENTLY than planned.

So, it’s tempting to say… “ugh, this is just too stressful” and bail on dreams, tell ourselves there’s no room right now to make a change, convince ourselves and even our loved ones that we did all we could but it’s not in the cards to have or do or experience something because we aren’t lucky enough, we weren’t born rich, we’re too old, we missed some boat.

And we mean it, because that rigid stuff feels very solid.  “Should.” “Must.” “Have to…” “Missed out.” “Not the time.” “They said no.” “It’s not in my hands.” “Not lucky enough.”

Every single one of us has our own parameters that define just how much we should have and how things should look.  We’re so loaded with rigid ideas that in inspired moments when we want to throw it all aside and start fresh, we’re lured back to how things have been because “oh, it’s not responsible… I will seem crazy… it’s such a huge risk I want to scream…”

On the other side of that rigid mold, there’s the visions, the projects, the new life, that deep love, the daydreams becoming real days.  It’s all hanging out outside the fences we build, the walls we put up and the safety nets we imagine are both created and carefully held in place by our decision to not rock the boat too much.

I thought I had once locked in my safety net so tightly, prescribed my life so fully… and then, it was all wiped out in weeks.  All my painful striving and self-deprivation in the name of success led me to a hospital bed for two weeks and down the darkest path I’d ever walked.  And to get out of it, I had to learn to do something harder than healing, harder than discipline and more perplexing than self-help or therapy.

I had to become OK with being myself and rolling with life without that hard-as-nails rigidity.

Stretch past the mold. It’s where the genius is.  And where the change and growth and the stuff you’re after becomes solid.  


Right now I “should” be doing something else but I knew I had to write this right this moment, even if it meant flexing my schedule slightly.  We all get that pull, that call to action, and sometimes it’s hard to slow down enough to hear the voice that says. “take that left turn” or “don’t worry, something better is coming soon” because we’re all in these rigid molds in some ways whether we believe it or not.

We create with power in inspired moments.  That fire blazes through what we know to be comfortable and shows us just how deftly powerful we are at manifesting what we want, creaing what we need, helping people in ways we never imagined possible… writing with electricity, dressing up and shining… feeling the space around us expand… opening those doors to new.

In uninspired moments, we rip apart everything we’ve created and stuff it back in a box, or in the trash, or in a closet where it won’t ever see the light of day.

It’s why change is so much like a war sometimes- you’re on your roll, then something comes and throws a wrench in your flow, and then, at a moment of standstill, it’s easy to start send-guessing, dismanteling and tearing up your creation.

Steps forward, steps back.


Just when I thought I was having a breakthrough, the same stuff happened all over again and ugh, I just can’t take it any more…!

Yep, I know.  I invite you to come see the long line of attempts I’ve destroyed while hoping one year – for twelve years- to finally write something so important to me it makes my whole life turn to lava when I start…

Bend the mold before trying to break it.

That’s been pretty much everything for me.  It’s made me a better everything- teacher, guide, creator and person. It’s not about overnight transformation.  It’s about bending more, stretching more… being OK with the days that everything turns upside down and the days that everything is in a dynamic flow.

Any place that’s stuck in a battle of “you vs. you” is a place to start stretching and bending things more.


There’s no way it should be.

There’s no reason to analyze every step.

It doesn’t have to be done yesterday.

If you’re mad at yourself, you’re tearing up your art and “unmanifesting” all that stuff you’ve wanted. If you’re trying to beat an artificial clock, you’re giving yourself a reason to implode, to stay stuck and to be very right in saying: I just can’t…

But, yes you can.  You know you can.  And you probably don’t want to be so rigid anyway.  Your body hates it, your mind doesn’t like it and it’s not very sexy or magnetic or anything that makes your heart well up with energy…

Bend more.  Do mini yoga sessions.  Explore dance.  Touch your toes. Walk, write in longhand in journals until you’re feeling free…

Stand in the face of obstacles and breathe instead of freaking out.  Nothing is that big of a deal, and really, even when it is a big deal, the panic doesn’t make it better.

Every freak out that carries on past it’s moment becomes it’s own destruction.  Stress hormones, darkness, floods of unnecessary suffering.

It doesn’t matter who will think you are crazy or who thinks you suck if you decide to move part your own molds and life without that tension.

It matters that you are you. And I promise you it will bring you so much more of what you want.

That you doesn’t come out halfway. That’s halfway in the old way and halfway in the new.  It’s more hiding.  It’s more waiting.  It’s more hedging bets and hoping to please everyone.

If you do it, you know exactly what I mean.

But think about that half energy for a minute.  What do you expect to get back when you’re giving half, or “just soo much” because it’s safer or less radical?

Would you like me to halfway feng shui your house? Would you buy a halfway made dress? Would you want a halfway repaired car?

So, don’t give it half of you because all of you feels better when there’s someplace to hide.

All that hiding makes the rigid molds stronger.  It makes you the effect of your life, while tricking you into thinking that there isn’t anything better that you can have.

There is.  And you know it.

So start stretching, bending and finding your way into a space where you get to live fully because you can allow it.

You know what that means, and if you’re ready, that life is ready for you.

xoxo Dana



creating genius creativity book

Welcome to Creating Genius!
I spent the last year creating this e-guide to balancing and unblocking life by pulling together the best of a decade of space-changing and life-shifting feng shui! It’s 50 days and 50 ways to use feng shui to shift your space and your routines to move from “stuck” to creatively inspired and alive.

Start Creating Genius right HERE!

Gather up your magic & make gorgeous dreams come true!

xoxo Dana

Graham January 6, 2018 at 9:20 pm

Stretch past the mold. It’s where the genius is….. Deep breath time xoxo

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