What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way?!

messy watercolors

(via)

It didn’t work as planned: the job, the adventure, the relationship, the meeting, the idea, the day…

It went south.  Or it went crazy.  Or you got the flu. Or it was just “off.”

Whatever happened, for whatever reason, it didn’t quite work.

So now: what do you do?

In the inevitable situation that things don’t always go my way, I’ve come to follow role models who have overcome the disappointments in a kind of splendor and authenticity that makes things, ultimately, always tilt in their favor.

I used to cry, sulk, stay in bed, party too much, panic, binge on sugar…

Or the worst of all: stop caring.

If you are tettering on the brink of giving up on a dream because of a failure to have things unfold the way you pictured them in your mind, this one’s for you.  

persist I think this may be the notion behind the new tatoo I’ve been creating. Its not like I look forward to falling down… but everything, be it ideas that are scrapped, photos that get edited out, designs that get re-hashed, everything has its moments where it fails to match the fairy tale each and every time.

That doesn’t mean its bad.

Perhaps its perfect, just as it is.  Everything.  Perfect.

I’m not going to bother telling you that your should honor your feeling and learn to “manifest” more specifically. That’t a trap to become more obsessive, controlling and miserable. Nor am I going to suggest that you get deep into evaluating how you could have made things “go your way.”  No ceremonies and no fanfare today.

watercolor

(via)

Things don’t need to go “your way.” 

Simple.

They need to go the way they go when you show up with your heart and soul and give with honesty and energy.  

Things should be the way they are when you do what you feel is best, follow your core beliefs and stick to your guns. 

How they turn out may not be “the way you pictured them.”

It could be a flop.  It could be a triumph.

Yes, you can learn from what didn’t work.  And by all means, you should.

But, that doesn’t mean that its right to insist and persist in thinking that your way is the way things should go.

I spent a year at 22 writing a novel.  6 months actually.  The other 6 were spent partying and moving apartment from Hells Kitchen where I waked over people smoking crack on my doorstep to a walkup in the West Village so small that I could barely think to a loft in Soho on Sullivan Street that was dark and yet… it was Soho.

None of it looked the way I thought it should look.  It all led me to the greatest world-circling adventure I could ever imagine.  The book still hasn’t been published (maybe one day, I don’t feel it at the moment) and each real estate “upgrade” failed to blow my mind… But I was in such a ferocious period of creating that I just couldn’t be stopped.  As a result, I fell in love and had what could only be called a global romance.

That was something I never envisioned.

I was open, though, to everything. I wasn’t sticking to the disappointing apartments, the people who came and went from my life, the drama sort of washed off me… I was on a mission to express myself fully and keep rising.

The antidote I’ve found to “this didn’t work out” syndrome (which happened so often it’s hard to count the potential disappointments) is to create more. Much more.

If you want to sit in what failed to match the picture in your mind, you can.  Having gone down that road, I don’t recommend it, but if you want to sulk around a while, have at it.

Ultimately, you’ll find freedom in creating more.

Want more creative success?  Create prolifically.  You’ll be surprised what your best work actually is!  Put all your eggs in one basket and you create a kind of anxiety that stops the flow that should be open.

More money? Find multiple ways to make money.  Most wildly prolific, self-actualized many-millionaires I know are in at least three money-making ventures that all make money.  If one doesn’t work for a bit, others will.  Everyone can do a bit more than one thing if need be.

More love? Give love to more people more fully and more freely without a need to get a certain something back specifically. Generate more love. Meet more new people.  Don’t hold back.

More of anything really comes from openness, showing up and creating bigly.

Yes: expect great things.

Yes: be specific about what you want.

But… stay open to all the possibilities for what can happen.

The things that don’t go your way actually are going your way: they’re directing you to where you need to be if you allow yourself to keep making, keep loving, keep going…

xoxo Dana

 

********************

feng shui 101And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.  Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.  It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.  Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.   Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…  And, as always, please let me know what happens!

Keri May 14, 2016 at 10:09 am

This is just the nudge I needed today. Thank you! It is my dream to generate my own income and be my own boss. It’s hard and I feel pulled in some many different directions it can be hard to focus but you have really helped me clean up my home and my mind.

I read your blog religiously and completes creating genius AND am on week 7 of your feng shui e book. Plus I’m a fellow jersey girl. Thank you for the endless inspiration! I have learned so much!!

danaclaudat May 20, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Keri! I’m thrilled, I’m honored, and I’m so so so excited for you!!!! yay!!!!! you can be your own boss for sure, & keep me posted! xoxo Dana

Previous post:

Next post: