Do You Struggle To Control Life?

control

There’s nothing I see people struggle with more than an obsessive need for control or a feeling of being out of control.

Both are the same.

Yes, the same.

Both imply that something in life is wrong and the way to fix it lies in one’s own manipulation of the universe.

Having seen both strategies fail miserably- hyper-control and complete surrender of all control- I know that the middle ground is something special.

Having swung on both sides of the pendulum myself I can tell you that the middle ground is so hard to access when you are in the midst of the grip of fear.

But the cool part is that the middle ground seems to be very simple if you dare to have it.

Do you need to let go of your control or step into more positive control?

Show up today, completely, for the day. 

green drip painting

(fine art america)

Control is a duality, a double edged sword at times.  There’s good control (focusing your energy on something to be done, etc) and bad control (wondering how you can manipulate situations to minimize your fears, etc, etc) or trying to check out completely so you don’t have to deal with things and other people can do it instead.

Where do you sit on the scale?

When you are present, you are not in your head.  In your head, the computations are made to overcontrol. You know what I mean: spinning thoughts, grasping at solutions, hyper-list-making, over-indulgence in precaution to the point of numbness.

When you are present, you are not waiting for someone or something of a force you depend upon to take care of things.  If you are checked out, giving all your power over to others, its immensely hard to decide, to commit or to actually do anything.  Someone- an expert, a guru, your partner or friend- always know better than you.

Hyper-control and total abandon both stir up tons of suffering.  Controlling habits. Martyr patterns.  Stuff that got stuck in your life and grew like weeds over time.

The only way out seems to be the one thing that can be easy to avoid:

Show up.

Today.

100%.

Find out what numbs you.  Computers, substance addictions, workaholism, dramatics, TV, worry… there are infinite ways we can engineer our own process of checking out.

See what helps you to show up.  Everything from sunshine to super-tonic drinks, more sleep to a hike in wild nature— and a million other things can help us to personally show up more right now.

If you need help with “showing up” these ideas to get grounded can help a ton.

Knock out one way you go numb.  Get as much help as you need to get it out of your system and away from your life.  Commit to it.  Believe that the present will be a beautiful place to live even if you’ve seen no evidence to prove it!

Do more of what brings you to presence.  Anything that grounds you is likely also luxuriously fun!

The more you can show up, the more you free yourself from a struggle with control.

Wrestling with a shadow is about as fun and effective as trying to control life, or relying on others to take care of you.

True openheartedness is in the present.

Real love is present.

Prosperity is present.

The closest we get to perfection is present.

I hope you try it.  It’s quite a revolution. xoxo Dana

 

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