Are You Holding On To The Way You Think Things Should Be?


Today’s thought is the ultimate soucre of stress and pain for so many people, myself included in this batch:

Holding on to the way you think things should be.

We have ideas of how things should be.  Then we look at life and get very upset when things are not the way we think we want them to be.  The panic ensues, along with the heartbreaking energy:

Do you think life should be a certain way that it isn’t right now?

If you are in this boat, thinking that life isn’t matching your “way” it “should be” today’s feng shui is for you!  If you can really wrap your heart around the big concept that things are exactly as they are supposed to be right now, you will find yourself feeling light and free. You might even influence the people around you for the better in the process. You may stumble upon greatness. Opportunity will grow. Who knows, you may even find that life suddenly lines up to match that magical expectation! 

you are worth more

I saw this quote on my old friend Mastin Kipp’s Instagram this morning.  Mastin was just starting The Daily Love in a big way and he actually named what would become this blog about 7 years ago.  It was funny because when I met Mastin I had an intense job that was not ever quite going right, and I was struggling to make my life look like I “thought” it should look.  On paper, I was in a rarefied position, but in my life, I was trying to shove things into boxes that looked the way I thought they should look.  Our friendship took many turns and imploded, then fell back together.

I can see that I knew I was worth much more than the life I had stuck myself in, but I couldn’t let go of the struggle because, well, I saw how I thought things should be.  Instead  of leaving things, I dug in my heels. It was the last round of true stress in my life.  I wanted things my way.  Consequently, I had expectations of people that were also needing to go my way.

The comclusion of this chapter in my life was the utter explosion that left me at sick, miserable and at a nearly-bankrupt rock bottom.

I’m so lucky that happened.

From it, not only did I regain all I lost, I finally started to let go and start living. Things sill break my heart, make me sad or angry or anything else… but I always remember the very simple time when I had no idea what to do and had to start over again in building my world, knowing that everything had to be this way in order for me to become who I needed to be.

The energy of having to have things your own way is the energy of control. 

Coming from someone who has both tried to control life and has been intensely controlled by others, control is not healthy.  Control is not self-protective.  If you think you can control the outcome of anything, especially where other people are concerned, my experience is that you get further away from a resolution.

Add more moving water to your home— a fountain, a fish— and see if that energy helps you to see the beauty in flow rather than control.

The more you can accept things for what they are, the more you can make sound decisions. 

Sometimes things don’t work.  Sometimes you totally screw up.  Jobs end, relationships of all kinds end, people move, life changes, things happen that you would not expect.  If you can’t accept the reality of where and how things are right now, you will not be able to change them.

If you can’t accept what has already happened, including your part in it at times, you will not be able to move forward.

Clutter is a big part of not being able to see life for what it is.  It is as though we build up a mountain of junk to distract ourselves from the real problems.  The most nefariously tricky forms of clutter:  a rediculously packed schedule that allows no time for life,  the clutter of electronic junk (too many digital distractions) and the clutter of past bad memories that have not been reconciled.

Start to de-clutter and see how you feel.

Holding onto anger and disappointment will crush your soul. 

Why do we think that we know what would have been the best outcome for us?  Anger and disappointment lead to more anger and disappointment.  You just get stuck.

The most freeing feeling is forgiveness. 

Forgive yourself, forgive others, and… most importantly… try to see life sitting in their shoes with deep empathy whenever you can.  Forgive, forgive, forgive.

If you have a lot to forgive you may also have a lot of things in your life that repeat themselves.  In your home, the mess is always the same.  The cycles always continue.  You start to feel its futile to clean your house because, well, the same disarray is coming.

There is an opportunity right now to make a big change.  

Every minute there is a new opportunity to decide something fresh.

You may want to become much more clear – and expansive- with your view of what your life “should be.”

If you had a very limited time on this planet, what would you deeply regret not saying and doing because you were stubbornly stuck in your ideas of what life “should” be?

This is your next move!

xoxo Dana



feng shui 101And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.  Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.  It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.  Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.   Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…   And, as always, please let me know what happens!

Previous post:

Next post: