Do You Feel Guilty For Being Happy?

ellsworth kelly

(ellsworth kelly)

Happiness isn’t for every moment, but I am for the mind that it can be your normal.

Lots of you have turned a page toward a life of more happiness or you have always found great joy in life and haven’t ever been quite comfortable with the idea that you can basically be happy.

Some of you might struggle with happiness.  In a world filled with obstacles, the socially appropriate way to prove you are part of life is to talk about how busy you are, how stressed, how dramatic or how absolutely miserable situations are.  How can you still be happy when you are part of life and life seems to dictate that happiness is some rare luxury for a “blissed out” and unrealistic Pollyanna person who has no grip on reality?

You can absolutely be happy and you should never feel guilty or allow anyone to make you feel wrong for being happy.

Today, a little feng shui about happiness is in order to help you to get your happiness and maintain it while staying connected to life in ways that are very real and very awesome! 

ellsworth kelly

(ellsworth kelly)

Being miserable doesn’t prove that you are solving problems. 

You can worry and spin out when you have problems or you can face them and stay in the light.

Believe me, in the darkest hours, I have had my faith tested.  I used to capitulate to this big stress response where everything was bleak and there was no hope.  The more you sink into stress the less you can actually solve anything.

Your home starts to fall apart, your schedule becomes wiped out my your emotional storm and the people around you just get pulled into a vortex of your crazy.

There is nothing productive in that, even though we are indoctrinated to feel that this is appropriate.

When my mother died suddenly, I was so shattered I never thought I would see happiness again, but I sat myself down at the Buddhist temple anyway and mainly cried and chanted for four hours a day for months.  I kept on that schedule for months because after a few days I could feel real happiness rising in me again.  It made be understand that even in darkness you need light to survive.

Light is your strength. Don’t feel guilty for finding light in hard times.  It was my own light that helped me to put my world back together and take the steps that were right for me to find a new life. It was actually how this blog came to life, and everything else that I love right now… it all came from that seeming darkness infused with light.

When you are in stress, make the lights in your home brighter during the day and dim them at night to flow more with nature. 

If you are happy, you will attract unhappy people who need your happy!

When you are bright and shiny, you are a great big target for the miserable and the oppressed.

I suggest that everyone who has (or has had) problems with this pull on their energy try two things:

  • Surround yourself with white light every day. Imagine you are walking with a grat big vibrant white halo shining around you every day before you start the day
  • Keep your house extremely clean to reinforce your positive boundaries.

Clearly, my life is about being of service and helping others, so the trick has been to know the difference between helping and sinking into darkness.

Emotions are contagious.  This is a scientifically proven fact.  Get really clear with yourself, especially if you are in a life where you are of service, that you are not meant to fix or care for anyone that is an adult, particularly those who don’t want help. You can support, provide tools, resources and feel lots of empathy, but you are not doing yourself a service to sink into toxicity.

Trying to “fix” people was my own arrogance and stupidity!  It also really drained happiness from my life.

Why do you feel guilty for being happy? 

I tell all my joyous clients who can’t connect easily with their day to day life to re-create their day-to-day life.

If you are working with miserable people closely and it makes you feel drained and guilty, you are likely due for a new job.

If you are with people who joke about your “bliss” you may want to look at the that and see just how many happy people surround that person, versus sad people. I wouln’t be surprised if the sad people started out happy till they met with this draining guilt and bliss-sucking person.

If you are feeling guilty because the state of your life (like when my mom died) dictates that you should just be suffering, I promise you that nothing comes from pure suffering but more suffering, no matter what anyone says.

Once you see where your guilt comes from, you can move past it.

Adding lots of plants to your home and caring for them is a great way to reinforce growing happiness and growing goodness.

Wish the best for everyone!

I used to say, “Oh yeah, I wish them the best.” Not so secretly, I would wish people who hurt me to know and feel how they hurt me.  Now, I thank them for whatever lesson they brought into my life and keep moving forward.

If you start wishing revenge or bad things for others who made you miserable, you become miserable.

Happy people are magnetic.  Trust that you will magnetize other happy people.  Allow more happiness into your life.  A man told me once that I was extraordinary and rare because I was almost always smiling and it was real.  I don’t want that to be rare; I want that to be the world.  To start creating that smiling planet, I want that to be you!!!

Never feel guilty for being happy!  xoxo Dana

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feng shui 101And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.  Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.  It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.  Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.   Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…   And, as always, please let me know what happens!

Melanie September 6, 2014 at 6:08 pm

Love this blog post. I relate to it so much. Over my life I have had a lot of people criticise me for being too happy. Its like they want to make me miserable to prove a point. I love being around happy people and I would never try and make someone sad. Life is short and there is so much to be happy for in life. I have learnt to keep my distance from people like this. Anyone who wants to make someone miserable is coming from a place of hurt. Im not being dismissive of what they have experienced but I refuse to let someone tear me down so they can feel good about their life. Thanks for a very enlightening article.
Mel

danaclaudat September 7, 2014 at 4:51 am

yay Mel! i’m thrilled to hear that you find the beauty in your days!!!! xoxoxo

Nicholas Riddick July 6, 2016 at 4:58 pm

Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, this article was awesome. Just well-written, well-intentioned, and best of all, real & true. I’m 20 & currently studying to be a teacher attending a great university. Unfortunately, throughout my entire life since the 6th grade, I’ve been surrounded by egomaniacs, pessimists, and the constantly sarcastic. I think they’re good people, some are even good friends at times, but many have been sucked into this vortex of dysfunctional thought, and their influence has pulled me under. While I dealt with my own issues as a child, I always had the golden desire for positivity, and that light is still in me. Changing so much these past few years (17-20) has brought these painful realizations out of me, and with that those false & disparaging thought cycles have been inflamed. Guilt over happiness, over my hopes & passions & dreams.

I’m still struggling, but with the help of stuff like this, I can finally begin to detach from negativity and those who perpetuate it.

danaclaudat July 7, 2016 at 7:02 pm

wow Nicholas, you are going to be an exceptional, game-changing teacher with this life experience. if i was taught this stuff in school, my world would have been SO much easier!!!! wishing you so much wellness & happiness & success!!!

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