How To Not Let Anyone Make You Feel Small Or Miserable!

live a legendary life


The absolute worst feeling is the feeling of being squashed by life and relatively helpless because of it.

Today we are going to do a little deconstructing of the “being squashed situation” and move  it far away from your amazing life.

You likely know a few of the ways you can be squashed:  the puzzling feeling of  feeling silenced in a situation, without the ability to say anything even though you are being mistreated, the mood swings that occur when you are attached to tyrants whether in work life or personal life,  the weird way that a seemingly nice person can make you feel like your mind has been turned inside out.

Yes: you know. We all do.

After years of having my voice taken away, feeling oppressed and fighting to be treated with respect, I learned a few things from a very many experts.  And I am happy to pass them along!


1. The happier you are the more this can occur. Being a target for this kind of oppression happens most often when you are feeling awesome about yourself.  Why? Well, sadly, miserable people will go to great lenths to siphon off your happy energy, vampire-style.    After all, vampires can’t get much nourishment from people who have little energy to spare!  The happier you get, the more it is worth becoming aware of this dynamic of oppression so you can steer clear of it!

2. This should not stop you from being happy.  I know that the temptation is to get angry and dragged down into the storm of fighting and feeling emotionally strangled.  I have gone that route.  It lets the darkness triumph over your light.

3. A little oppression is a sign of growth…or can be a catalyst!   Its actually a gift to find yourself as a target for this kind of craziness— sometimes.

I was once the unwitting target of a woman who was more evil (I rarely say this, but about 100 people I know will agree) than I have ever-  or will ever-  encounter in my life.  My heart would race at her incessant emails.

She manipulated every situation in a very important job I had so that it was full of potholes and impossible odds to succeed on a daily basis.

She also forced me to get serious about my Buddhist practice, head to Japan for the first time and, as a rsult, my whole life changed for the better in deciding to rose above this situation somehow.

Instead of pointing the blame on an oppressive force in your life, look to see how you have created this situation ands how you can prevent it in the future!

4. You can get much smarter in spotting the crazy-making forces in your life.  HERE are 8 major ways to spot the passive aggressive stuff circling your life.  Once you see it, you can take care of it!

5. Do not let this sour you on the good in the world!   If you are in one of these squashed situations, take excellent care of yourself first.

THINK: Sleep, food, exercise, quiet, art & personal joy.

And:  make it a point to find more good in the world every day.  Being a jaded cynic is one of the first steps to becoming one of those vampire-oppressors, so be sure to stay in the present and connect to your life and community with gratitude!



6. Reinforce your personal voice in the world in a positive way.  HERE are a whole ton of feng shui tips to help you live your personal truth more and more. 

Here’s to living bigger and bigger without stress!  xoxo Dana

P.S. : If you’re excited to clear your life of toxic ties,  The Catalyst Camp is coming for the New Year to declutter your home & your life of these life-squashing entanglements! You can sign on HERE to watch the FREE 3-Video Decluttering Video Series right now!!!  xoxo!!!



feng shui 101And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.  Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.  It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.  Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.   Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…   And, as always, please let me know what happens!

maggie May 6, 2014 at 6:58 pm

Sometimes my boss is…not the greatest. Thanks for this, Dana. Gotta stay happy 🙂

Charin Adams May 6, 2014 at 10:34 pm

I soooooo needed this today. I don’t cry often, but I have today over a crazy bad situation with some people that I trusted.
Thank you! xx

danaclaudat May 6, 2014 at 10:42 pm

hate to hear that Charin. but its sometimes what it takes to help clear space… sadly it can suck in the process! feel better fast!!! xoxo

Flora May 8, 2014 at 12:50 pm

I feel like you are speaking such an unspoken truth…that people do this to happy people!!!!Thank you for doing that!!!
I recently was fortunate to celebrate the happiness of a religious family in my community. The grandfather, who is the leader of the community, kept telling me that I am a rare person that actually…feels a deep happiness at…someone else’s happiness. Why is that? Why is this rare? Honestly…until he said it to me, I had not…let myself fully recognize how rare this is…and also begin to see how the reverse has affected me in my life. What is up with this part of human nature? I don’t get it.
Clearly you are far advanced of me in understanding how all of this is going around and knowing what to do about it. Thank you for sharing! Please share more!!!

Surbhi May 17, 2015 at 3:50 am

Hi Dana,
Thank you once again for sharing this article.
I am 1000s of miles away in India but am an ardent reader and follower of your writings and videos.
I have to say I never believed in concepts like Feng shui and happened to stumble up on your FB page by chance. Now I don’t miss reading a single thing and try to inculcate the thoughts in my life.
Thank you very much and keep up the great work.
You make a difference !

danaclaudat May 24, 2015 at 11:23 pm

Surbhni, your message from 1000s of miles a way really hit home for me! Thank you soooo much! Sending love!!! xoxoxo

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