Happiness is what we all want.
Misery is no fun.
Yet, some people seem to hold on to misery as though it is a part of their DNA.
You have seen it: The people who are so successful yet perpetually upset. The person who meets their soulmate yet continues to date other people that are distruptive because that feels more “safe.” The amazing blesings some people have that seem to be met with … “yeah, but I don’t have x, y & z yet!”
You have seen it. But… the question of the day: are you it? Are you addicted to unhappiness?
Its a very profound question.
Are you addicted to unhappiness…or any other dragging-you-down emotion?
I was introduced to an interesting idea this weekend that a percieved injustice is the most powerful motivating force in the world. Essentially, deep unhappiness and anger can produce the most results from people. This is a fascinating concept. I have often thought some people relied upon unhappiness to motivate them. I always wondered if I was one of those people, deep down, always fighting my way through life.
David Sack, M.D. writes about the possible “addiction” to unhappiness that some people lug around in Psychology Today:
How do you know if you’re one of these people who live in a perpetual state of unhappiness? People who are addicted to unhappiness tend to:
Find reasons to be miserable when life gets “too good.”
Prefer to play the victim role and blame others rather than take personal responsibility for their choices.
Compete with friends and colleagues to see who has it the hardest.
Have difficulty setting and achieving goals, or conversely achieve goals only to find that they can’t enjoy their success.
Struggle to bounce back when things don’t go their way.
Distract, escape or cope by using drugs, alcohol, sex, food, or other addictive or compulsive behaviors.
Stop taking care of their basic needs, such as a healthy diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep.
Feel enslaved to their emotions and powerless to change.
Feel dissatisfied even when life is going well.
Have dramatic, unfulfilling relationships.
Breaking Your Addiction To Any Emotion
Subha Ekambaram writes about Emotional Addictions, citing Dr Joe Dispenza of What the Bleep Do We Know? among others who write about the patterns that our brain can become addicted to, just the same as becoming addicted to substances.
The first step to breaking emotional addiction is to recognize the addiction itself. The life that one has created around oneself is a good indicator of the type of emotional addiction.
Dr. Dispenza suggests that the addiction can be cured by not feeding the cells with the drug or emotions they expect. The chemical addiction is released, when the old cell dies and new growth happens. The newly created cell is in a better state of harmony, as it does not depend solely on the chemical to keep it nourished.
So, it seems that to make a really substantial change, you need to quit feeding the emotional pattern. This is so simply stated and yet to accomplish it requires a level of immersion in positivity that you really have to commit to, despite the fact that you may seem to be “airy fairy” or Polyanna-esque.
Holistic Cures For Getting & Staying Happier
My personal cure for all emotional ills is Buddhist chanting. Hours and hours when I am feeling my worst or my best. That said, I have developed a tool-kit of holistic help to support my own recovery from life trauma and addictive emotions for the times throughout the day that I can’t be at the temple or at my altar at home.
Here are my top five ways to support emotional change with holistic support:
1. Keep a journal. Write in cursive writing and write out everything you are feeling.
2. Try flower essences. Alexis Smart Flower Remedies are my go-to holistic helper!
3. Clear clutter. Confusion and mess mirrors confusion and mess in your mind.
4. Exercise. There is no more sure-fire way to create feel-good chemicals than a workout.
5. EFT (or tapping). THIS somewhat woo-woo seeming therapy is used medically to treat Post Traumatic Stress and I have found it to be a really excellent go-to helper when the negative emotions want to creep back in.
And, of course, always seek medical treatment and professional help if you are in an addictive pattern that is too heavy to handle on your own. We all need help sometimes.
Have an amazing time creating a new normal- a normal of peace and ease!!! xoxo Dana
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