8 Big Ways To Sabotage Your Happiness…And How To Stop!

art of vortex

If you feel like you are constantly taking steps forward and then many steps back, running into brick walls just when you think you are making progress in some way, or extremely frustrated at the way things are working in your world, it may help to look at where your energy is going.

All of Traditional Chinese Medicine deals with the flow of life force through bodies, spaces and universes.  If energy is flowing to where it needs to go, life is a breeze and you feel fantastic.  When your energy- the “chi” word you hear about- is scattered or stagnant or deficient- things go awry.

When things are going great, energy is flowing freely.

When things start getting stuck, suddenly, it can be perplexing.

What has happened to make the energy suddenly stop flowing?!

Well, you may be tossing some of your energy into a bottomless pit.  I have done it too many times to count!

Here are 8 big ways that you might be giving away your power and sabotaging your happiness.  Once you see where it is going, you can make the shifts to soar!

aura photography

(aura photography)

We all have radiance.  Energy.  Here is it visualized in “aura photography”.  While this may or may not be scientifically “correct” is a great way to be reminded that we all have an electrically glowing power.

What we do with that power is up to us!

Here are some of the common ways we all lose our power.  It is interesting/mind-blowing to see that just about everyone I know- myself included- can fall into one of these giant sinkholes.  Each and every one of them does not feel good.  Each one of them is a habit. The good news:  habits can be broken once you see them for what they are!

There are hundreds of ways we all do this, but these stand out to me as the magnificently troublesome ways that our lives get drained of greatness: 

1. Believing someone has secrets you don’t have.   I call this: “Always comparing yourself to others” syndrome. I love this one.   I used to idolize a girl  I knew when I was in years ago who had it all- beauty, brains, a social life that was red-hot, amazing family, superstar talent.  I wished so badly I could be her.  I didn’t socialize much at that time because I didn’t think I could measure up to how cool she was. About 5 years ago I saw her-  and it wasn’t what I expected.  I thought she had all the secrets to life, and she was literally a wreck. I felt terribly for her. And wow, all the time I wasted comparing myself to other people!

2. Love affairs with the emotionally unavailable. Want to throw your confidence into an deep abyss? One way to do that is to decide that you are going to get involved with an emotionally unavailable person. If you spend your time trying to “perform” to “win” the love of someone who doesn’t love themselves, you will come up short.

How do you know if you are doing this?  Well, you likely have no idea what is happening in your relationship, or it is “on” and then “off” in turns. You might feel as if you don’t “do something” constantly that you will lose your partner’s affections.  You might be obsessing over the person, thinking that somehow magically you can change them and have them see that they love you by putting enormous amounts of energy into thoughts of them.

Don’t do it!

There are plenty of people who will love you for who you are, and they will make that clear.  There is much more on the emotionally unavailable for your reading pleasure right HERE. 

3. Deciding that destruction has benefits.  Need to work yourself sick, starve yourself skinny or drink yourself into oblivion in order to “get ahead” in some way? Do you have your own version of this?  Nothing comes of imbalance… but more imbalance.  While it may seem that some people get ahead by partying like a rock star and eating like a pigeon, they are not getting ahead.  Look at the big picture. Have you seem what people look like physically and energetically who wear themselves thin in this way?

They are not winning any races. There are no races to win.  You either grow or you dwindle. No one dwindles and grows at the same time.

4. Blaming other people.  The more you blame other people for what is happening in your life that you do not like, the farther you get from a solution.

As J.K. Rowling said in her amazing speech at Harvard University:

“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.”

When you blame anyone, you stay stuck in one place.

5. Sweeping things under the carpet.  If you want to fix a problem, ignoring it is not the solution.  In acupuncture, to stimulate deficient energy in an area of the body, needles are placed into the body in those areas to stimulate energy.  Needles go straight into the area; they do not avoid the area.

Avoiding things may seem like an elegant solution to a dramatic situation. Everything you avoid, though, becomes clutter. Clutter stops the flow of chi.  When energy is stagnant, illness results.

6. Vampire “friendships”.  Got some pals that suck the life out of you?  It is your choice to engage in crazymaking.  No one is forcing you to engage! If you have a life filled with draining people, you may want to read this and see how you can shore up your friendships and your own energy in the process!

7. Putting yourself last. There is nothing noble about self-sacrifice.  The only thing that happens when your own self-care comes last and everything else in your life- obligations, other people’s needs, etc-  comes first is that you will crash and burn.  Taking care of yourself first enables you to bring more to your life in positive ways.

If you give of yourself to the point of exhaustion and leave your own needs for whatever moments you have left,  how will you continue to have the energy you need to maintain this?

Exactly. You won’t.

Take care of you. Then take care of others in great ways!

8. Denying yourself pleasure.  If you think that creativity is frivolous, if your life is too filled to allow yourself to do things that make you happy purely because they do, you may be living in a bit of pleasure-starvation.  When is the last time you celebrated a successful day? Do it!  Celebration fosters success.  Giving yourself the gift of even a few hours off to see a film or go to a party with friends is not just fun… it is necessary!

If you aren’t convinced that you deserve more happiness, you may want to read this list of regrets expressed by people who are dying: 

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

(details HERE at Huffington Post)

That really gives me chills.

The biggest  antidote to every kind of situation where you are giving away your power:  Love! Allow yourself to have more love (for your space, your life, your talent, humanity)  … and you will be able to give more love (to yourself, to your life, to your talent, to humanity) … and you will automatically start to reject situations that drain you of that feeling of love.

So, if you are in a mighty roller-coaster of life or feel that you are trying very hard and seeing no results, you might want to see if your life force is flowing into one of these big bottomless pits.  Shift it to love.  Watch your life glow.

It’s all clutter- all these sabotage beliefs.

And you can live free of them.

Your home reflects your life… and clearing it and reorganizing it so that it reflects your dreams is the first step to creating a life that builds and grows and flourishes.

The Catalyst Camp Life De-Clutter is coming soon for 2016!

It starts with a FREE 3-Video Series to revolutionize your clutter clearing… with lots of feng shui magic mixed in, too!  You can sign up HERE to get started!

Clearing clutter- even the overwhelmingly tough stuff- can – and will-  be super-fun!!!

xoxo Dana

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feng shui 101And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.  Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.  It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.  Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.   Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…   And, as always, please let me know what happens!  xoxo Dana

joyshree February 3, 2014 at 5:08 am

This is really awesome… I really appreciate it.

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