Why was I met with intense, “made me shake”, hate this morning?
As I woke up thinking, ” I have never been this happy with what I am creating, how my life is going forward and all the love I am blessed to have in my life!”
Then it happened…
A few hours later, riding on a beautiful high in the still-early-morning-chilled sun, energized and peaceful, someone unleashed intense anger at me. It was this wild, unhinged rage that knows no reason. The scary “a-switch-flipped” kind of anger. It had almost nothing to do with me (I mean, I never even speak to this person) but it had everything to do with me. I happened to be there, and I happened to trigger this.
Shaking and stirred up, I rushed to call everyone who would listen to share my crazy morning run-in. Then I realized, ” Why the hell would I want to share more of this anger and crazy-negative crap with other people? Will it make it any better?”
Two things I have come to realize over years and years of letting other people’s issues take me down with their ship that tend to hold true:
Engaging in anger that is pure rage with no reason just makes it bigger. (IE: talking back, trying to change someone’s mind)
Deciding to take issue with people for unleashing their anger in criticism (“the haters”) just makes it bigger. (IE: starting to listen to what is being said as truth, internalizing it, making it an issue)
In my experience, this hater phenomenon happens all the time to people who are on an upswing in their personal life, career or creative life. I have come to agree with the people who say that it is a sign of growth and personal success.
Did you ever hear the phrase, “It’s lonely at the top” ? It might have been founded on the idea that there are so many scores of people who are creatively blocked in some way (I have been there many times!), and as you unblock and decide to live your dreams and express yourself fully, it sets off a tidal wave of fear and even rage in some people around you who are not ready to confront their own blocks.
That’s how I see these things. I don’t believe haters are bad. I don’t feel anyone is bad.
I feel that haters are just “stuck”.
My suggestion: Don’t get stuck right along with them! Have compassion, keep doing your thing, and hope that they come around for themselves!
It isn’t lonely in happiness, actually, it sometimes just requires finding some new friends that are not blocked, that are happy and living their lives! Or inspiring those around you to get into their own happiness.
I was happy to come upon the advice of an old friend and a wildly-successful businessman, Grant Cardone, who offers an amazing formula for handling criticism & success in a Huffington Post article, Why Criticism Is Important To Success:
Criticism and the Success Formula
1) Get so much attention you start to get criticism.
2) Disregard the criticism and get more attention. (Never attack the haters).
3) Criticism will increase to new levels, even lies, increasing the amount of attention again.
4) Continue getting attention, disregarding the criticism, until admiration, at which point the haters will move on to pick another target (they always do)! (you can read the whole article HERE)
As many of you know, I am a proponent of creative freedom and art as a medium to unlock more personal freedom. Stay in art as much as you can! Don’t let the fear and anger of others pull you off course. Create more and be more compassionate, in the hopes you can inspire the people around you to do the same for themselves! xoxo Dana
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