Fast Feng Shui: When It Feels Wrong It Is Wrong

blue bookshelves

(via)

Today’s fast feng shui of the day has to do with trusting yourself more than you trust the voices of authority or the rules of how things should be. If something feels truly wrong it is wrong.  This applies to your home, to the way your life is organized, to your diet, to your thoughts… to your whole world.  If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

I love the cobalt blue bookshelves above. If I recommended them to a client and they re-created the look solely because I said to do it, even though they hated that blue, it would be a disaster.  No one would be happy.

Because  I can’t quite read minds (!) but I can feel out spaces and see what’s happening in lives based on what I see and feel, I can pull tons of ideas out for a client to make the shifts they want to make.  Sometimes I say something like… “What about your bed here?” and I see things shrink or go silent. It feels wrong to the client.  We talk. “You don’t have to do this, you know, ”  I say.  “But, I will if you say it is right.”  Nope. That’s the road to wrong choices. Then we talk. We adjust. I leave lots of room for people to voice what is happening and how ideas land on them so that we design their ideal space, not mine … and not a space based on a bunch of rules from books.

Your space is your space. Your comfort level is your comfort level. You want what you want, and no one should make you feel wrong for wanting what you want.  If you start giving in to things that feel wrong, you move away from your own truth.  This is why I steer clear of superstitious nonsense that the traditional practices of feng shui are full of- they take away your power and become a reality superimposed upon your own. If you were going to have bed luck because of where they door is in your house, well, you might as well give up on life. Its the type of thinking that crushes your dreams, makes you feel small and leaves you in a space of wishing and hoping rather than living.

The more you accept what feels wrong, the more the happiness in your life becomes a fantasy.

When I make recommendations to people about their homes, and even suggestions for habits or other ideas they might find valuable, I do it under the very important premise that they are recommendations.  I am really clear that if something feels wrong-  not uncomfortably new or revolutionary in a way that is a bit of a leap- it is wrong for them. Or it may be wrong for now.

Do not talk yourself into thinking it is right or it is OK if it is wrong.  I’ve been there.  The minute I hear myself excusing things that really feel wrong I know I am on the precipice of a free-fall into a bad situation.

My suggestion based on years of giving up my own sense of what felt right to “authorities” is to not push yourself to do things that are contrary to your nature because you think in some way they will benefit you in the end. There’s a difference between the good type of uncomfortable ( healthy compromise, risk-taking, pushing your own limits, vulnerability)  and the bad type of uncomfortable (hurt feelings, disconnection from your life, feeling small or clinging to wishes divorced from reality).  You know the difference.  If you trust those feelings, you can take the risks and push the boundaries without waking up in feeling like you are not living your own life.

Experimentation is freeing.  Try things. Make shifts .  Trust yourself. Go slow. Adjust.  And keep going!

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feng shui 101And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.  Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.  It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.  Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.   Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…   And, as always, please let me know what happens!  xoxo Dana

 

Sue August 7, 2013 at 12:34 am

Dana,

I really needed to read/hear this now… I have been having some “authority” figures telling me something I know is untrue… but I’ve been caught in a lot of struggle and doubt because they’ve sewn that seed of “something is wrong.”

It’s hard to say “no”, but that’s what I’ve been doing… and standing in what I know is the truth is what I’ve been coming back to.

My question is, how can I have something physical in my space to help me draw strength when I feel myself wavering? And where would I put it?

Thanks!
Susan

Reply

danaclaudat August 7, 2013 at 4:54 pm

For your own confidence, try to strengthen the vertical lines in your home. Even if you got a great big tree branch, painted it red and propped it up in a corner you’d have a strong vertical. Upward-facing lights are extremely strong verticals.
Also, remind yourself every single day, all day, that you will stay true to you. Experts are important in their expertise, but they can’t tell you what is best for you! If I had listed to lots of experts, personally, I would be a shred of a human being: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Thats just my own experience 🙂

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arwa September 14, 2013 at 5:30 pm

great distinction between good uncomfortable and bad uncomfortable- as I continue to work through your book in addition to your blog posts I feel like I am slowly getting a space and life that fits me..

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upwardlythinking November 4, 2016 at 11:31 am

Thank you Dana!!!
I have been in a similar situation to Sue for decades now. So far, still sane but definitely bruised all over.
Interestingly I recently purchased tall pillar style floor lamps to place under a bulkhead that has bothered me since the day we moved in here. Will now work on more vertical lines.
Thank you again Dana.

Reply

danaclaudat November 11, 2016 at 6:48 am

Stay strong!!!… and great intuition to bring in more light 🙂 !!!

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