The Ten Commandments Of Managing Anger

ed ruscha

 (Ed Ruscha)

Anger serves a purpose in helping us distinguish right from wrong.  It can help create boundaries and shield us from harm.

Anger in abundance is poison.  It will drag your life into blackness and will summon more of its screaming, confused and outraged events to your life to fuel and perpetuate itself.  Anger is irrational, destructive and, at its worst, violent.

There’s no place for anger to fester or run rampant  in our world.  That’s why I wanted to share an awesome article with you today that shines a big light of purging anger from our lives.

ed ruscha

(Ed Ruscha)

I’ve had all sorts of experts advise me on anger, and one major thing stays the same in all that I am told: physically working out anger is much easier than just keeping it in your head. I take long walks or even runs when I’m mad, and it helps me get through it.  That’s fine if you anger is minor or isolated.

If you are angry, let it out. Burn through it.  Anger is an emotional stop on the way from apathy to happiness… getting angry is far better than, say, being numb to an issue.  When you get angry you are in a state of action where you were once flat and unwilling to confront things.  So, get angry… but don’t stay in that anger. Keep moving.

If you are extremely angry, seek professional help.  Don’t tranquilize the problem: confront it. Self-medication with drugs and alcohol make that anger chronic and the consequences of that anger much more profound.

Here is a relatively amazing entry from Psychology Today that really helped me understand anger in a new way.  Pass it on to your angry friends & family members.  Print it & read it when you are pissed off, or when you encounter someone who is!

It’s The Ten Commandments Of Managing Anger by Steven Stosny, Ph.D

1. Recognize anger as a signal of vulnerability – you feel devalued in some way.

2. When angry, think or do something that will make you feel more valuable, i.e., worthy of appreciation.

3. Don’t trust your judgment when angry. Anger magnifies and amplifies only the negative aspects of an issue, distorting realistic appraisal.

4. Try to see the complexity of the issue. Anger requires narrow and rigid focus that ignores or oversimplifies context.

5. Strive to understand other people’s perspectives. When angry you assume the worst or outright demonize the object of your anger.

6. Don’t justify your anger. Instead, consider whether it will help you act in your long-term best interest.

7. Know your physical and mental resources. Anger is more likely to occur when tired, hungry, sick, confused, anxious, preoccupied, distracted, or overwhelmed.

8. Focus on improving and repairing rather than blaming. It’s hard to stay angry without blaming and it’s harder to blame when focused on repairing and improving.

9. When angry, remember your deepest values. Anger is about devaluing others, which is probably inconsistent with your deepest values.

10. Know that your temporary state of anger has prepared you to fight when you really need to learn more, solve a problem, or, if it involves a loved one, be more compassionate.

Check out the full article here.  It’s  a fabulous resource for when anger is more than a passing emotion. On that note… wishing you a day full of peace!  xoxo Dana

ken April 19, 2013 at 4:52 pm

Anger is low vibration. Keep moving.

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Hannah April 29, 2013 at 3:48 am

I am 10 days late but I really appreciate this, anger has become something frighteningly unmanageable lately, so I am going to practice these 10 commandments!

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