Shifting Social Gears In The New Year

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Perhaps I should call this “shifting social gears any time of the year” because there’s no good reason why January 1 should be the only turning point that we universally recognize? … but lets roll with the idea that 2013 is a fresh start.  The collective agreement that a new year is a fresh start is plenty good enough for me to get started.  Your social life is a vital part of life and it will either support or destroy your creative power and vitality.  Its well worth checking in and doing a bit of “feng shui’ing”!

Before the year ends- or when you come back from your holiday- set aside an afternoon or a full day to just do “you.”

I personally love a day at a Korean Spa in LA that is tucked away and filled with salt saunas and herbal baths and heated jade floors.  You can take a fabulous bath or go for a hike or do whatever is exhilarating and helps you to wipe your mind clear of concerns.

Because I work closely with people and have a bustling life both in person and online, I find it helpful to do this more often than once a year. Once a month or so generally does the trick. I have slackened off recently, so I am recommitting in the New Year to remembering how important it is to socialize…big-time!

Clean House:  Unfriend/hide/block anyone on your social media platform that has a strong negative effect on you.  If you know them personally, as yourself if you’ve done all you can to make peace with them.  If so, there’s no harm in just keeping things clean and clear.  If you just dump people you know off your social media because of problems, you miss the point of this exercise!  This is a good time to make peace with the past, even if you click “delete” after its done.  Try to make it right with them if at all possible.  If its not possible (and it may not be) at least be sure to forgive them.  Then… let it go.

Reconnect: On the flip side, reconnect to the people you have lost track of that you miss.  If at all possible, at the bare minimum you should pick up the phone and call them, if not see them in person.  Send notes, letters, even emails if nothing else works.  Reconnect, stay connected and catch up with people you love and miss.  “They don’t call me” is not a reason to not call them.  Be the glue that holds you together if that’s what you need to do!

Reach Out:  Every week I get a few messages from readers, friends of clients and people I’ve met in passing who want to just connect. That’s very powerful.  In fact, a few people who have reached out of the blue have become good friends!  Do you have a wish list of people you’d like to know? Whether they are local experts, teachers or even your idols… its well worth dropping a line or showing up at a lecture or a party to say hello.  Most everyone worth admiring will definitely appreciate your words!

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I always love hearing from you! xoxo Dana

Sofia December 25, 2012 at 8:29 am

Great advice, it’s as important to clean up your personal life as your house, as we actually have to live with both 😛

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Annie December 30, 2012 at 10:55 am

I love all of the advice given especially for the New Year! Although, I think I might have a difficult time with “reconnecting” with an old friend. I have a good friend who I usually keep in touch with since graduating high school, however, I feel that our friendship is only one-sided since I am the only one who tries to communicate and keep up-to-date with her. I always give her a call here and there or send her emails, but she never return my phone calls or respond to my messages. We are both in college and go to different universities. I understand that there are times when we can get busy with our lives, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to keep in touch with others. When she does explain that she’s busy I am understanding of her schedule. The only thing that confuses me is that she doesn’t seem to “try” to stay connected. After awhile, I decided to stop contacting her. Once I stopped contacting her, I noticed that there was a pattern. I realized that during high school I was always the one who is the “glue” that tries to keep our friendship together. In high school, there has been a period of time when she left me feeling isolated and our communication just stopped out of no where. Then, we reconnect again and all is good. Up until now, I think I’m going through that previous phrase again. Haha, I feel like our friendship has turned into a couple’s on-and-off-kind-of-relationship. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I am the only one who puts in the effort when the other person is not because it can be very exhausting. What do you think, Dana? Should I let go of this friendship or should I try to reconnect…again?

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danaclaudat December 31, 2012 at 7:46 am

You know her well so only you can make that choice! I can say that my best friends at times are not in my life at a regular pace and some I do the reconnecting, some they do… If you care about her, why not take it for what it is?! That’s my only advice, from personal experience. Happy New Year!!!

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