A reader asked the question: “Help! I am falling in love with a man, but his bed seems to be in the wrong place with just one nightstand! You say that’s bad, to have one nightstand. What do I do?”
Before you cancel this guy from your life or begin to obsessively worry, talk to him. Does he actually want a relationship? (One nightstand generally means a man does not want or is not ready for a relationship…) I know, it can be a tough conversation, but a worthwhile one to have in the light of day, calmly.
If so, explain that you need some space for you, too, if you will be staying the night. Would he be open to a second nightstand or, even, moving the bed if you continue to see each other?
Things aren’t black and white. If you see one or two of my red-flag bedroom feng shui signs but everything else between you is great, don’t just hit the road! You can feng shui and design a space TOGETHER. The willingness to open up and share space even if it wasn’t already set up when you got there is enough to work with as you get to know one another. If things don’t change in a month or so, well, then, don’t flip out but address it again and see where it goes.
If you have to address it more than once in a big way, I’m not thrilled. I did this once, dating a guy with one nightstand and PLENTY of room for another. He knew it mattered to me, but he didn’t care. I dumped him and re-did his bedroom (including a second nightstand) and now he’s happily with someone else. So, sometimes its just that way… And its all good. But the key here is that he would not do it FOR me or WITH me… so, you know, that speaks volumes.
Stay honest about the situation and see if the space can evolve as the two of you evolve. I know people with great relationships who travel constantly and don’t even have one set bedroom, but they make space for each other and know what each other needs in a space.
Good luck in life & love! Great question!!!
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Always, I love hearing from you! xoxo Dana