When we are rockin in life and feeling great, and all the good juju is flowing in our direction, we feel unstoppable. We can save the world from peril, and no mountain is too big to climb. We have preternatural energy and unstoppable strength. And then…once we take on the universe around us, convinced we can make things perfect and lovely, we fully crash and burn. Superheroes are purely fictional.
Recently I was asked what my vices were. I didn’t have to think too hard before admitting that I can have a bit of a God Complex that gets me into trouble. I feel like nothing can stop me, I overcommit, and then I totally burn out. After all, I help people to see beyond the obstacles in their homes and lives, and I see the changes and can’t help but feel like its limitless, what Ican change. I revel in a land of artists and geniuses. I am lucky. But, I am no superhero. And neither are you!
Superheroism leads to a distorted view of life and a lack of gratitude. Superheroism is what I call the “self-help backlash” of our recent times. There is all this information on how to live – (…that I, myself, dole out, too, albeit mine is more scientific and largely aesthetic than spiritual, if you will )- and when it works, we cruise on our wave of kicking-ass. But…suddenly, if you don’t have four homes, your soulmate and perfect health you have failed to “manifest” properly, you have a lack of knowledge of metaphysical secrets or your simply don’t know the truth that one or another guru has figured out. So, since we are superheroic, we drive ourselves harder to manifest, to fix ourselves, to sharpen our tools and we do it ruthlessly at the expense of happiness.
Superheroism does not make change happen, rather, it makes you sick, weak and crazy at times. If we could be happier with what we have and use the tools available to us to make positive changes, step by step we could actually influence a world of change. That’s not what superheroes do…they just take it all on, every problem, crisis and emotion, full-force. Superheroes have special powers: they can go and go and go. You & I don’t have those powers. We get dragged down by the crazymaking we are trying to manage and fix because we are human
Superheroes are best kept in movies, adored and even idolized from afar. What I have come to understand through talking with addction therapists, therapists, Buddhist priests, clients, teacher and friends as well as a litany of ALANON groups is that we have to take care of ourselves first. It is not compassionate to extend yourself far beyond where you are comfortable to help other people. It is not heroic to try to fix the people around you or become caretaker to the world when you rapidly fall apart in the process. It is certainly not possible to know the karma of other people, so compusive worry and obsessive responsibility is a massive waste of time. And… it is OK to be selfish when you need to be. Saying NO is just as important as saying YES.
Feng shui wise, this is a metal-element issue. You need stronger boundaries if you need more metal in your life. You know, “nerves of steel.” Exactly, thats what we are talking about. The fastest way to enhance your metal energy is to clean house. Scrub, dust, polish and purge clutter. Thats a good start. Another is to physically reinforce the boundaries in your life. Fences, gates. new locks on doors, doors that operate properly, walls that are solid and reinforced and scuff-less.
No matter what you do, please don’t take on the emotions, problems and karma of the world (or any one person in it!) and then say that you just have to. You don’t! Even professional caretakers need to take care of themselves first. Relax and start counting your very real blessings; life is way easier when you are only living yours! xoxo Dana