What you will remember forever is the turning point: the day you decided to take the reigns in your life. Whether you went through tragedy, illness, sorrow, excess, addiction or just about any other intensely imbalanced state, you can decide to change it right now, today. That’s not an oversimplification. In fact, most of the people I know who have majorly transformed their lives (me included!) started by making a very big decision. Then… action follows, step by step. Here is some feng shui to support you in getting things together in your life and gaining stability!
This little pyramid created by Abraham Maslow is the only tool or roadmap you need when deciding to get back on your feet and build your world in a stable, healthy manner. Check it out:
Although I have told you the background of Maslow’s Hiereachy of Needs Pyramid and theory of Self Actualization, it is worth repeating just one more time for the sake of our discussion. Maslow was a very well-regarded psychotherapist who studied healthy, successful people who had stable lives and were living up to their potential for the bulk of his research career. He determined that there was a series of steps that people took to gain solid states of achievement and transcendence.
The pyramid works from the bottom to the top. If you skip a step, you fall apart. What does this mean in terms of getting your life together when it doesn’t seem to be working out?
1. Get HEALTHY. If you are not truly physically healthy, you are not going to have much success at higher levels of the pyramid. Exercise, eat right, get help for any addictions you may have or bad habits you need to break. This is STEP ONE. If the bottom of the pyramid isn’t solid, you are likely to sabotage yourself or simply find yourself at square one or stuck before you get much higher…
2. Create SAFE space. Part of creating safety when building your life up is understanding that people as well as environments can be “unsafe” for your life. If you are trying to get a new job, don’t share your daily updates with your friend who is miserable and negative. Determine who is fully supportive and holistically safe. Maybe you have to keep things to yourself for a while. Thats fine, too.
3. Straighten out any legal/financial issues lingering in your life. Yep, those taxes you didn’t file yet need to be confronted. You can’t sweep things away for when you are “ready” to deal with them and expect to have STABILITY. No matter how hard things are to confront sometimes, you must see what you are dealing with head on, rather than stash it aside and let it fester and gnaw at you.
4. Don’t isolate yourself once you are feeling stronger and more organized. Socializing is very important to your well-being. However, the people and environments you socialize with can make or break your sanity. If you feel drained after spending time with someone consistently, they may not be the healthiest people for you! Find creative new places to socialize.
5. Get cool with your family. We all have family issues, that’s part of being on this planet. Accept, forgive, and now take responsibility for all of your actions as an adult. No one- not even your terrible father or absent mother- can be blamed from here on out!
6. Start dreaming again. When we are knocked down, pummeled or have a full-on meltdown, dreaming is the last thing we are doing! Dreaming is a way to build up your self-esteem and raise the energy level of your life.
7. Build a support system to hold on to your stable gains. In AA, you get a sponsor to support you in your alcohol sobriety. On sports teams, you have a coach. In life, you may need a mentor or a group of advisers to help you stay on track. Part of being truly stable is recognizing that you aren’t going through life all alone. We all need help to gain stability where we are not as strong. I need someone to remind me to eat when I’m busy. You may need someone to call if you are procrastinating. I have a friend who has a clutter-buster organizer on call when he is feeling like his papers are getting out of control. We all need stability and that requires help from time to time. You can’t always count on your friends, family or loved ones— sometimes you need objective, professional help.
I will not lie to you- in my experience, none of these steps are simple. I have found each and every one of them to be immensely rewarding. When you really master the bottom of the pyramid above (your health & home & wellness), you have so much more reach to your personal greatness in a solid, excellent way. Day by day, step by step, you can definitely reach the top of that self-actualized pyramid if you really want it. xoxo Dana